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Loud Christmas Gifts

Since we've met - my husband always has had problems sleeping.  He likes complete darkness.  No noise.  Stillness.  He wants complete silense. 

Of course, over the years, he has learned, that with two boys and a wife in the house, he may not get this.  But this is what he wants.  And even though he has realized that complete silence is impossible if you have kids (or a wife) - he foolishly tries to obtain it anyway. 

My husband, you see,  has amazing hearing.  If there is an unusual noise in the house (usually a noise I don't hear), he paces - complains - sometimes swears - hunts the noise down and then tries to stop it.  His hearing is so good - he knows when our elderly neighbor stays up late.  He can hear her television from our house.   And when I can't find my cell phone when the ringer is off,  I usually call it and ask for my husband's help.  He always finds it by just listening for the cell phone vibrations.

(I am convinced that in his former life - my husband was a bat.)

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